The 10 Books That Helped Make Me Who I Am

There is something deeply revealing about the books we carry with us. Not necessarily the books we think we should name. Not the respectable classics sitting neatly on a bookshelf, chosen because they sound impressive in polite conversation. I mean the books that got beneath our skin. The ones we discovered at exactly the right—or perhaps completely wrong—moment in our lives. The books that disturbed us. Comforted us. Made us feel less alone. Made us question everything. When I look back at the books that have influenced me most throughout my life, I realise my choices are probably just as quirky and unconventional as I am. There are stories about addiction and alienation. Stories about rebellion, violence and dystopian futures. Stories about children becoming monsters, monsters becoming something almost human, and outsiders desperately trying to find somewhere they belong. Perhaps it is no surprise that these books helped shape the writer I eventually became. So, in no particular order, here are ten of the most influential books of my life.

1. Junky — William S. Burroughs- Published 1953

William S. Burroughs was never going to offer the reader a comfortable journey. Junky opened a door into a world that felt raw, detached and brutally honest. There was something about Burroughs' writing that refused to soften reality for the reader. It simply presented the ugliness, desperation and strange humanity of the world he was writing about. It taught me that stories do not always have to be beautiful. Sometimes they need to be uncomfortable. Sometimes the truth is found in the darkest corners of human experience. This was one book and journey I took with Bill and came back to tell my story- On the book "Not Anymore".

2. Naked Lunch — William S. Burroughs- Published 1959

If Junky was unsettling, Naked Lunch was something else entirely. Strange. Fragmented. Surreal. Disturbing. And absolutely unforgettable. This book challenged everything I thought storytelling was supposed to be. It did not follow neat rules or politely guide the reader from beginning to end. Instead, it felt like falling into someone's fever dream. Naked Lunch taught me that literature can be chaotic. It can be bizarre. It can make absolutely no effort to make you comfortable. And perhaps that is one of the reasons I loved it.

3. Ham on Rye — Charles Bukowski- Published 1982

Bukowski understood outsiders. Ham on Rye is uncomfortable, bleak, funny and painfully human. Henry Chinaski is not a traditional hero, and perhaps that is exactly why the story stayed with me. Life is rarely tidy. People are rarely perfect. And sometimes the characters we understand most are the ones who are flawed beyond repair. Bukowski taught me that you could write about damaged people without trying to save them. You could simply allow them to exist.

4. Factotum — Charles Bukowski- Published 1975

Another Bukowski book had to make this list. Factotum captured something I have always found fascinating—the struggle to exist within a world that expects everyone to fit neatly into place. Henry Chinaski moves through jobs, relationships and life itself with a kind of reckless detachment. He doesn't fit. And frankly, neither did I. There was something strangely comforting about discovering characters who didn't belong anywhere in particular. It reminded me that sometimes being an outsider is not a weakness. Sometimes it becomes part of who you are.

5. The Outsiders — S. E. Hinton- Published 1967

Perhaps one of the most important books I read growing up. The Outsiders taught me about belonging, loyalty, friendship and the invisible lines society draws between people. Ponyboy Curtis and the Greasers felt real. They were young, vulnerable, angry and trying desperately to understand a world that had already decided who they were supposed to be. The book taught me empathy. It taught me that every person has a story. And perhaps most importantly, it taught me that the people society labels as outsiders are often simply trying to survive. Stay gold.

Today still use this phrase.... Stay Gold, pony boy! This is where I search for the sunset wherever I go

This book was disturbing, violent and impossible to forget.

6. A Clockwork Orange — Anthony Burgess- published 1962

A Clockwork Orange forced me to think about morality in ways I had never considered before. What makes someone good? Can goodness truly exist if someone has no choice? Is it better to choose evil than to be forced into goodness? These were enormous questions hiding inside a dark and brutal story. The language itself fascinated me too. Burgess created something strange and unfamiliar, forcing the reader to adapt to the world rather than allowing the world to adapt to them. As a writer, that stayed with me.

Language can shape a world.

7. Fahrenheit 451 — Ray Bradbury- Published 1953

Ray Bradbury gave us a terrifying future where books were dangerous. Perhaps that is why the story struck such a deep chord with me.

Fahrenheit 451 is not simply about burning books.It is about knowledge.Freedom.Thought.And what happens when people stop questioning the world around them.For someone who has always found refuge inside stories, the idea of a world without books feels like a nightmare.This book reminded me why stories matter.Because sometimes stories are dangerous.And sometimes that is exactly why they need to survive.

8. Lord of the Flies — William Golding- Published 1954

Children stranded on an island should have been the beginning of an adventure.

Instead, William Golding gave us something far darker. Lord of the Flies showed how quickly civilisation can disappear when the structures holding people together begin to collapse. It frightened me because it felt believable. The darkness was not coming from outside. It was already inside them. Perhaps this was one of the first books that made me realise how fascinated I was by the darker side of human nature. The monster is not always hiding in the woods. Sometimes the monster is us.

9. Christine — Stephen King- Published 1983

Stephen King's Christine Before haunted houses and supernatural creatures, there was something deeply unsettling about the idea that an ordinary object becomes something monstrous. Not to mention I had an affinity to classic cars (well classic to me as I was a child of the late 70's).For me Christine was unforgettable. Stephen King took something familiar- a car- a stunning beautiful car- and transformed it into something terrifying. Beneath the horror was also a story about obsession, loneliness, friendship and the darker side of desire. The relationship between Arnie and Christine becomes increasingly disturbing as the car begins to take over his life. What stayed with me most was King's ability to make the impossible feel believable. He taught ne that horror does not need to tucked away in a haunted house.... sometimes it can be waiting inside your driveway.

In my case can be anywhere .... out there

10. Cabal — Clive Barker- Published 1988

Clive Barker opened another door entirely. Cabal introduced me to a completely different kind of monster. Clive Barker understood something that has always fascinated me: sometimes the monsters are not villains. Sometimes the people we are taught to fear are simply trying to survive. Cabal takes us into the world of Midian, a hidden sanctuary for creatures who have been rejected, hunted and feared by humanity. It is a dark, strange, imaginative and deeply emotional. Barker blurred the lines between monsters and humans. good and evil, beauty and horror. And that has stayed with me. Perhaps it is one of reasons I have always been drawn towards outsiders, folklore and supernatural. Because sometimes the monsters standing in the darkness is not the thing we should fear. Sometimes the real monster are standing in the light.

So, What Do These Books Say About Me?

Probably quite a lot. Looking back at this collection, there is a clear pattern. I was drawn to outsiders. Rebels. Broken people. Monsters. People who didn't fit neatly into society. Stories that questioned authority. Stories that explored the darkness hiding beneath civilisation. And stories that reminded us that the most frightening things are often not supernatural at all. Perhaps these books helped create the writer I am today. The writer who loves haunted landscapes, forgotten folklore, dark secrets and the uncomfortable places where reality begins to unravel. They taught me that stories do not need to be safe. They do not need to be comfortable. They do not even need to give us all the answers. Sometimes a story simply needs to leave a mark. And these books certainly left theirs on me. Looking at this list now, I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised that I became a gothic writer. After all, I have been following the strange ones, the outsiders and the monsters for most of all of my life. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

What books shaped you? I would love to know which stories stayed with you long after you turned the final page. Which books changed the way you see the world—or perhaps helped make you the wonderfully strange person you are today?